"Forty-Six" by Amy Neswald

December 15, 2022 Jodi Paloni is the author of the short story collection, They Could Live With Themselves, a finalist for the MWPA Book Award for Fiction. For her Read & Loved selection she highlights writer and University of Maine Farmington professor Amy Neswald’s short story “Forty-Six” which appeared online on The Rumpus literary journal. Paloni has this to say about the piece:

I love how this seemingly quiet story braiding themes of aging and empty-nesting and grief takes me completely by surprise in the final riveting scenes, how it doesn't shy away from the more serious trouble, and how it slows down time in the peak of high drama.

Amy Neswald

An excerpt from “Forty-Six”

Waiting to turn forty-six is like standing in the unrelenting sunshine. Everything green is wilted. Beauty is parched into nothingness.

Forty-six travels on the nose of a bee. It falls to the ground like the stinking fruit of a ginkgo tree. It sprouts legs and a tail and teeth. It snarls behind trash cans and car wheels, barely hidden from view. A feral cat. A stray dog. A cornered rat. Crooked teeth. Bloodshot eyes. Patchy fur and raw skin.

When Kate jogs, forty-six nips at her heels. Her lungs cramp as she loops the park. The walls of her heart buckle. She skips over maps of cracks and dried gum on the last leg of her run to the carousel. Leaning on her knees, she catches her breath. The painted horses, frozen in a fevered race, pull at their bits.

Forty-six grows bolder. When Kate cooks dinner, it drools, ravenous, under the kitchen table. It tears at the hem of her scrubs as she walks to the subway. When Brad kisses her goodbye and good morning and goodnight, its forty-six’s copper penny breath she tastes.

In September, on the flight back to New York after they’ve dropped Pierre off at college for his first semester, forty-six drapes over her shoulders like a rotting mink stole. Like rigor mortis. Like death filling the holes Pierre’s absence has created. He’s so far away now. California. She feels weight in his absence.

“What do you want to do for your birthday?” Brad asks.

Kate simply shakes her head no.

“It happens to the best of us.”

You can read the full piece here on The Rumpus

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